got it all together?

I'm one who often struggles with letting my guard down, besides with the Lord and my precious family. I believe that God has made me to be an encourager of others (it's something that He's engrained in my heart and that I'm passionate about because I desire to love people with His love), yet I have the hardest time wanting to be the one to lay burdens on others. So most of the time I just try to hold it all together and not let on that I may be hurting deep inside or going through a tough season. It's not that I don't want to be genuine or transparent with others- not that AT ALL actually. I love people that are that way and find it to be such a beautiful trait! Especially when the joy of the Lord is visible in the midst of their pain. So it's my honest desire and my heart. But it can still be so tough for me because of not wanting to be a weight for others (and often, most people just don't ask anyway, besides my closest friends- probably because it always seems like I'm fine). But I know the flip side as well haha... because I consider it a huge blessing to be able to share others' burdens and lift up their struggles to the Lord with them. I've been pondering all of this recently and was so comforted by the sweet touch of my momma's loving words, encouragement, and embrace last night. I'm SO thankful for her, my dad, and my brothers. Besides Jesus, they know me the best of anyone, from the inside out. They're able to see right through me to my heart with just a glance and I'm overwhelmed by their continual love, encouragement and support, which reminds me of the Lord in His constant love.

It makes me remember how much He knows us each personally and intimately. He not only formed our hearts, but He also sees into them and searches them every day. He peers deep inside, looking for hurts, wounds, worries, blemishes, sins, joys, meditations, thankfulness, faith- and He knows exactly what we're experiencing at all times (whether it be spiritually, emotionally, physically or mentally). He is the biggest comfort, corrector and encouragement- the One whose Fatherly embrace lets us sink into His arms and chest with our full weight. I'm so thankful that I can run to Him and know that I don't have to appear to have it all together, because I most certainly don't. HE's the only One who holds me together, even on the tiniest level, holding every cell in my body together. He knows all and He loves without bounds. Even in the midst of the storms, He is so near. And even when we may think He is sleeping (like when Jesus was in the boat with His disciples on the Sea of Galilee), His control has never ceased and His comforting presence has not left. Thank you Jesus!