home sweet home

I am a true Colorado girl at heart. I couldn't be more blessed than to have lived here for 16 years. I may be a California girl by birth, but this is my home sweet home :) Well, my earthly home at least :) Now, don't get me wrong, I love California too. Especially because of the ocean! But I can't imagine living anywhere else, unless God called me away from here. No matter where I go, I always know I'm "home" when I see those huge Colorado mountains in the horizon and the clearest of blue skies. And that's how I picture feeling when I someday reach my true heavenly home with Jesus, getting to run into His loving, everlasting arms. That is my real home, the place that my soul longs to be :)

But while God still has me here, I'm blessed beyond belief to rejoice in each beautiful day that He gives me. It's been cold and snowy all weekend long, which I absolutely LOVE! There's something so comforting and home-like about getting to wake up to a winter wonderland- all of the trees and mountains glistening with what looks like crystal, fluffy, powdered sugar. It's one of my favorite things :) I always get the same feeling of excitement and awe when I see a beautiful, white canvas of snow, like a little girl waiting for Christmas morning to approach. It's as if I get to watch the Lord paint the sky and earth with all of His magnificence and creativity. Every wet snow flake that brushes against my cold face is a drop of His paint :) I think it's one of the most breathtaking sights and experiences! So I just loved it today! I couldn't stop peering through the foggy windows to the white-washed outdoors and thinking about how great the Lord is. Isn't it funny how something so simple, like God's gift of snow, can make us step back in awe of Him and still ourselves? 

vision

It may sound kind of lame, but I love school. I really enjoy studying, learning new things, challenging myself and applying myself (besides all of the people I get the opportunity to meet and interact with). Call me a nerd or what you will haha :) But yes, even though school can get really stressful at times, I love being a student. And of course, not just being a student in school, but with the Lord, as a daughter, sister, friend, etc. I think I've finally been learning this about myself lately. That I don't do things like oooh and aaah at all of the high-tech chemistry/research labs at school and stay up studying until 3am for exams for no reason- first of all, it's because I want to serve the Lord with excellence in everything I do, including my education (although there's a fine line between that and my attempt at perfectionism, which is definitely not healthy and something God's been breaking me of lately). But I'm also beginning to realize I do these things because He's made me passionate about being a student- that He has specifically placed a love within me for learning. I know that probably seems like a no-brainer and you'd figure that I'd know that after almost 19 years of life, but I haven't ever thought about it being unique to who God's specifically made me because being a student is just what's expected in our culture. But the way that the Lord has intricately shaped us each is for His divine purpose to bring Himself glory. I never want to dismiss or forget that.

All of this has led me to alot of thinking and prayer. I've been asking the Lord for direction in this season, as far as what to do with my education and career path. Even though I honestly have no clue about where He's leading me, I'm so overjoyed and excited for this journey that I get to have with Jesus every day! With Jesus! My very Savior! The risen one! Oh how exciting! The most incredible, adventurous, fulfilling life possible. Sometimes I think about what it must've been like for the disciples during their three years spent with Jesus on the earth. They probably never knew where they were going or what miracles Jesus was going to do (whether in their lives or others'), but I imagine they must've learned to expectantly and eagerly approach each day in light of getting to spend it following our amazing King. Whether Jesus was preaching to hundreds of people, healing the woman who bled for twelve years with the mere touch of His hem, restoring sight to the blind, calming a huge storm and literally stopping the wind and waves with the power of His word, feeding five thousand with five loaves and two fish, casting out legions of demons from the possessed, or just spending time with the disciples and gazing up at the beautiful stars that He placed in the sky and specifically named, I can only imagine how incredible of a journey it was to simply be with Him. And that's exactly what we get to do every day with Him as believers- be with Him! He's been reminding me of that alot this week and how AMAZING it is to even know Him, to know His love. Tragically, so many people don't. I can't imagine what life would be like without the hope and saving grace of Jesus. When talking with one of my coworkers last night about God, she made a comment that seeing the joy, love and genuine faith that I have in my life (which are only from the Lord) make her want to become more of a Christian. I was so incredibly humbled, excited and shocked to hear that. I wanted to jump up and down and tell her "Yes! Yes! You do want to know Jesus! He's the person most worth getting to know and He will completely change your life!". Although I didn't get to say it in those exact words, our conversation was definitely a divine appointment and I trust that the Lord's planting seeds of His love in her heart :) Anyway, all this made me think of how blessed I am to know Jesus Christ as my Savior and get to spend every day with Yahweh. There is nothing I could ever possibly do to measure up to God's standard or get to Him on my own. It's only by His grace, mercy and blood that I am able to have relationship with Him, which is nothing short of miraculous. 

So no matter where the Lord ends up directing me, I'm excited just to get to grow in Him, worship Him and love Him more every day. My prayer is that I would reflect Him with my entire life. I've also recently been reading a book called Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick (the title's based on the story of Joshua's faith to ask God to stop the sun in order to win a battle in the conquest of Canaan- super crazy and challenging!). When I came across one statement in particular, it literally made me stop dead in my tracks. He states, "if the size of your vision for your life isn't intimidating to you, there's a good chance it's insulting to God". Woah. This totally convicted my heart and made me ponder about my vision for my life compared to the Lord's. How many times does God tell us about His power to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all in His Word? How many times does He talk about having faith? That nothing is impossible with Him? Aton. So you may be asking what this has to do with my whole spiel about being a student. Well, basically everything. I never want to limit the Lord in all of His might, power and creativity with my own puny-minded thoughts and prayers, including in my schooling. So I'm asking Him to give me even the faith of a mustard seed. The faith to believe and pray boldly in faith for whatever He may want to do through the broken vessel that I am and wherever He may want to lead me. I long to trust Him for the impossible.

I want to trust Him that He could provide the means and the knowledge it would take to get into medical school and become a doctor or surgeon, if that's what He desires. That He could make a way to send me to the poor and parentless in other countries. That He could lead me through law school to become a lawyer, advocating for the mistreated and the falsely accused. That He could use me as a journalist and photographer to share His truth or as a teacher in the lives of underprivileged youth. The possibilities with the Lord are limitless and I pray that I can trust in His vision for my life with Him :)