be still

"Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

I absolutely love this piece of scripture :) Boy is it difficult sometimes! Yet it's such a simple, clear-cut command from the Lord. This verse has been implanted on my heart for several years and I think of the words quite often. I usually pray in my times of solitude with the Lord that He would show me how to truly be still before Him:

to stop everything else,
to lay all distractions aside,
to give Him my undivided heart for cleansing and filling,
to think/meditate on Him,
to realize what it means that He is GOD of the universe, so holy and true,
and to love Him in response to seeing Him in light of who He is.

Yet, even still, I so often fail to remain in this attitude that God has called us to, especially in the business of life. Obviously He understands where He's placed us in life, that we must go about daily routines, and live purposely and intentionally. But He still calls us to be still before Him. So how does that work? Well, I don't have that exact answer, but I do feel that the Lord's teaching me more of this every day, no matter how tough.

Let me explain... I am a doer. A go-getter. I don't want to waste the life that Jesus has given me idly sitting around, if that makes sense. I'm incredibly passionate to be out in the world, living for Him, loving Him, loving others, sharing His good news- basically doing and pouring out. But there has to be that balance between doing and just being (filled and still before God) like in Psalm 46:10. It's not hard to imagine why I can struggle with this and the evidence is quickly seen in my personality and decisions.

I have a really tough time saying no to any ministry opportunities.
I usually don't take time to rest unless told to.
I often stretch myself way to thin and try to take on an amount of things that are just plain humanly impossible.

God sure has been changing this in me lately... and at first by force. I'm so thankful though! He knows exactly who I am (from the inside out) so He knows that I can be quite determined and stubborn. It's not that I don't like rest or stillness. In fact, I completely CHERISH my solitude with Him and that's where I draw my strength from. It is like air to my lungs- totally essential. It's why I try to begin each day with an unlimited time amount given to Him and spent before Him. Although others would probably consider me pretty outgoing, a people-person and very talkative, I thrive on my recharge sessions alone and with Jesus. My parents talk about how funny it is that I've always been this way, even from the time of infancy- very pensive, one who ponders things deeply in my heart and loves times of silence/stillness.

Recently He has been slowing my pace again and telling me not to do- just to be still, to rest in Him, to love Him with everything, to know that He is God (like I mentioned in another blog post). It's definitely been difficult, but the needed refreshment to my soul. I have been more physically exhausted and in pain than ever before- my body just doesn't seem to allow me to do the things that I normally could. But I know this is no accident. It's all the Lord. I've not only been physically depleted, but somewhat spiritually, emotionally and mentally as well. In my lack of my own strength, Jesus reminds me that He IS my strength, that He demands to be my strength. He's the only one who can carry me through. And I can only fully trust Him and love Him when I come to Him in my inadequacy and brokenness. Because it's then that He's able to fill me and make me whole again.
"Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick... For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners." Matthew 9:12 & 13b

I love the beautiful picture of the sinful woman who came to the Pharisee's house and sat before Jesus, weeping and wiping His feet with her tears, hair and ointment from an alabaster flask (Luke 7), which was probably the most expensive thing that she had to her name. What a mighty display and example of what Psalm 46:10 looks like in action! I long to worship my Heavenly Father in this way and to sit humbly and simply before His feet, giving Him my most prized treasures. Lord, would You teach me to still myself before You like the woman in Luke 7 and know that You are God. Would You remove the things that hold me back from doing this in my everyday life and break what You see fit in me so that I may be still and love You more.